I don’t want this plan of action to be all about my losing weight, but today, it’s all I can think about.
You see, I’m sure you’ll agree, it’s very hard to resist sugar. It’s in everything. And everywhere. It’s particularly bad when people you work with sit beside you munching on custard creams and Digestive McVities Caramels. And drinking tea. Lots of tea. Of course, with sugar in it.
I can’t tell them what to do with their own time, so I have to just grin and bear it.
Then there’s the added ordeal of when I get back to my little flat. All that stuff in the fridge I didn’t eat from last week is there – waiting to tempt me: an M&S Victoria Sponge cake, three delightful Magnums (icecream lollies covered in dark chocolate) and, talking of chocolate, I’ve still got a couple of bite-sized mars bars left over from the Christmas stocking from mum. Yes, even though I’m almost 54, I still get them.
Oh to have a body that didn’t pay me back with fat!
Just sniffing at the sweet stuff is kind of tough on me. And to crown it all, I even saw in the paper today that I’m headed towards the diabetes death pact with myself (Daily Mail ‘Putting on just 7lb in a decade raises rick of diabetes by half’ by Victoria Allen. Thanks Victoria). Given that I’ve put on three stone over the same period I’m wondering what’ll happen to me then, huh?
That’s a whole f**king 42lbs!
If this girl can do it …
Then so can I! Trouble is, she looks a lot younger than me. Plus it doesn’t look like she’s lost three stone.
No. Don’t be defeatist!
If I don’t do it now, it means a whole host of problems facing me very soon. Problems like my kidneys calling it a day, my heart breaking on me, seeing dots before my eyes and even, heaven forbid, nerve damage – which could lead to the loss of my arms and legs. That’s another thing. I don’t want to end up looking like a thin woman in a big bag of skin. Have you seen previously fat women who’ve lost weight and haven’t had the skin slicing op?
Oh my goodness. Poor woman. I’ll have to make an effort to hop on to the exercise loop too to banish that belly bloat! Oh crumps. Do I really have to exercise? I hate exercise. Used to love walking the dog, but exercise?
Think I’d rather keep my legs.
My legs, by the way, should have made me tons of money when they were young, as they were a great shape. Model legs. But I was too shy at the time and I can’t think about that now. Must face facts and learn that even if I did get them back into shape now, I’d have crinkled thighs, stretch marked calves and wrinkled knees.
The trouble is, I don’t want to take pills. Therefore, I’m left with the hardest route of all. Denying myself the things I love – by changing my diet.
I’ve definitely cut down on sugar. I know that for sure. For the past couple of days I’ve only indulged in one cup of tea – with two sugars. The thing is, if I cut down on sugar I’ve got to increase something else to get that energy back. To not get the jitters! To not get those headaches.
I’ll tell you something for nothing – water has never tasted so damned booooooorring!
Plus added to all of this, my mum has it. Diabetes that is. I’ve been told it’s hereditary, but I don’t know how true that is. And looking at her wedding day photos and comparing them to now, I certainly don’t want that for myself. Also, several medical Doctors and Professor Roy Taylor at Newcastle University said that a Type 2 Diabetic can lose weight and lose the dis-ease (Daily Mail again, must change my newspaper reading habits too. While I’m on a roll).
Whatever way I turn now, whatever choice I make, it has to be the right one.
I used to study Natural Nutrition, shortly before I got stressed, depressed, run-down, tired, angry and bitter (after leaving my man, not studying nutrition!). This is one of the reasons why my belly is so big! But I’ve still got all my books, perhaps I ought to go and read them all over again.
Either way, I got a choice.
To live and deny. Or to, basically, die.
Either way, seems like life has got me by the balls (incidentally, I only have those in the metaphorical sense).
I’m going to try and banish my belly first with this…check it out for yourself and tell me what you think.
Kaye Bewley BewleyBooks.com